Eleven Years

Eleven Years ago today, on a sunny January afternoon, we said our "I do"s, my wife and I. "I take this woman to be my wedded wife." Thinking back on all my foolish decisions that brought me to this point in my life, this was one of the best ever. 

Lauren once told me that she was waiting to say those three words until it was hard to imagine her life without me. These days we tell each other of our love every day, and our lives and  our hearts are twined together in so many ways I can't imagine it any other way. 

On this day of our anniversary, I wanted to share with all how thankful I am for my wife. Eleven things don't convey the whole, neither can English words express fully the breath and depth of my love. But one must start somewhere. In no particular order:

1. Lauren, I'm thankful for your love of Jesus. When I imagined our journey together as a slow climb up a tree towards holiness and faith together, I never imagined all the times we'd slip. All the broken branches. The dark nights. But you've never loosened your grip, never given up. I have no shame that many times your faith has been stronger, brighter than mine. We've each taken turns pulling each other back into the arms of Jesus. I'm so thankful for the work our heavenly Father is doing in you, and will finish in you. 

2. Lauren I'm thankful for your belief in me. God doesn't ask us to take a leap blindly in faith. He reveals a lot about his character and the person and love of Jesus. In contrast, I think you knew a lot less about me eleven years ago, when you let me slip that ring on your finger. So much of the confidence and courage that I have facing the hard things in life, comes from knowing that you are at me side, with me. You have my back, and when I remember that, I feel like I can go through brick walls. Thanks for taking a flyer on this crazy guy, and continuing to encourage me when I'm down. 

3. Lauren I'm thankful for your smile. Nothing quite lights up my day like seeing joy on your face. I'm glad you're not stingy with your smiles.  

4. Lauren I'm thankful for your partnership in all the ups and downs. Waking up and finding ourselves parents of five has been a shock, and come with so many difficulties. It's been hard. We've both despaired, and rejoiced. And I wouldn't want to wake up next to anyone else to do it all. I'm so thankful for your partnership, companionship, company. This journey may be lonely, but we don't go it alone.  

5. Lauren I'm thankful for being known by you. Being so well known, and still being so well loved. It's such an undeserved blessing, and has taught me about the immensity of God's love. 

6. Lauren I'm thankful for Pink Robe hugs. Those unhurried morning ones, in the eye of chaos, where everything is always alright. Cheek on cheek, body against body. These always bring me back to hope and peace. I'm thankful you receive love through touch. For those moments spent body on body: becoming one. 

7. Lauren I'm thankful for all your time. With every we have less. I'm so glad you've wanted to spend so much of yours with me. The moments in honest conversation, face to face. Cleaning the house together. Laying next to each other exhausted at the end of the day. Whatever it is, you have been generous with your time. It's increased my joy. And can't wait to spend more time with you. 

8. Lauren I'm thankful for a friend to play with. We each have our own hobbies, but I love that many of our favorite things we share. I love you as a friend. 

9. Lauren I'm thankful for your love for our five! children. No matter what you feel, I'm so confident no one loves our children, or ever could, the way you do. The way you know them, study them, worry over them, delight in them regularly brings me joy. Thanks for being the best parent our kids could have. 

10. Lauren I'm thankful for your patience with me. Slow house projects. Reluctant leadership. Absent-mindedness. My head is buried in a book when everything is disintegrating  around me. And in so many ways, you showered me with your patience. 

11. Lauren I'm thankful for your forgiveness. It's the currency of successful marriage, but doesn't keep count. I've surely needed plenty. I'm thankful you've always given it. I'm thankful we've always come back together after being hurt. I'm thankful our love continues to grow in the garden of forgiveness. 

I love you Lauren. I look forward to the years to come, and more words to tell you how much, and in what ways, all those many ways, I love you. 

Your's always, 

Ryan