Why I Deleted My Facebook

 The truth of course if that if people really were as happy as they look on the Internet, they wouldn't spend so much damn time on the Internet, because no one who is having a really good day spends half of it taking pictures of themselves. 

-Fredrik Backman, Anxious People

Nothing about what follows is meant to be prescriptive. We are all so different, with different roles in life, that decisions about our engagement with technology are very personal. This isn't me trying to be better than anyone either; I have plenty of issues in my life without Facebook. But I did want to explain my disappearing act for those that might be wondering. 

Some books bring us to tears (The Book Thief for me this year), some books strike us with their beauty or brilliance. Books challenge us, affirm us, comfort us, expand us. And some books change us in palpable ways. The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt changed the way I understand social media. 

As a parent and a person living in 2024 The Anxious Generation was a really helpful book for thinking about technology and its effect on us, especially our children. Specifically it convinced me to delete my Facebook account. For me, I could no longer ignore neither the moral failings of the company or the effect on my own spiritual and emotional health. Let me explain: 

1. I'm a girl daddy now. As such I couldn't ignore the evidence Haidt laid for how Meta's products have had such a harmful effect on young girls. Not only are Meta's products harming young girls and women, they are well aware of the effect, and actively seek to profit off of young girls anyway. For me this simply became unacceptable. 
2. Reading The Anxious Generation also helped me examine social media's role in my life. I enjoy seeing updates from friends and family that I don't often see. I enjoy reading about my hobbies. I enjoy using Facebook marketplace. However, after reflection, I also saw how distracting Facebook had become in my life. It affected my spiritual focus, took my time, and left me less able to invest in the  present. 
3. Additionally, this past year has been one of the loneliest for me. Facebook hasn't helped, but if anything makes things worse.  

So I left. I'm not trying to convince you, just explaining my absence. Another book I read this summer, The Good Life has reinforced the importance of relationships. I'm praying I can invest more of my attention and time into the relationships I have, I just won't reach out on Facebook. And while I might be a Luddite, Haidt isn't. He offers many helpful rules and guides for navigating our connected world, both for individuals and parents.  I highly recommend The Anxious Generation.