At 3 AM, When You Can't Sleep, and the Guilt Sharks Come to Eat You Alive

"They have healed the wound of my people lightly."-Yahweh

We have a light salve for the wound of guilt today. It doesn't irritate the skin. All you have to do is let go. I'm sure you've heard it before from any number of motivational speakers. Be guilt free: just drop whatever is holding you down.

If it's thorough advice, you'll be told to look the matter square on the head. Did you do something wrong, well look it in the face, be honest about it, and then move on. It ends in the same place: you let it go. You don't have to let guilt rule your life, just get over it. Be free! Give your guilt to Jesus.

But sometimes guilt doesn't play fair with gravity like a pocketful of pebbles. Sometimes guilt is like a hungry shark, swimming up the past and jumping into your quiet boat. It surprises you at night, when you're the last one up, and all your Gmail chat buddies have gone to bed.

You hear those words you said to her, so full of hope and desire, and so misplaced and wrong. It stings like fresh blood. You wish you could swallow the whole ocean to take those words back. And the sharks rush in at the scent blood, overwhelming you with all your failure and sin.

And I've cried over these words. I have cried to God, I have repented to her, and I have come to look the matter square in the eyes. I've already made my peace with God, her, and myself; I've given up the guilt. But letting go yesterday did a hell of lot of good for today. That damn devil, still prowling around, still hungry.

Letting go won't do. I need a savior to take it away, and I need to believe in Him. "As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." The Lord does not just take away the punishment. Jesus take our transgressions away from us; he separates us from the evil, relocates the guilt. He has already done it, and the Devil is pulling a bluff.

Thankfully the LORD also "knows our frame," and remembers "we are made of dust." Satan's bluffs feel teethy and sharp, but the LORD knows we're fragile. He knows just how man shark attacks our little boats can stand.

So thank you Lord for this past guilt to bring me back to your harbor. Help me believe, so I don't keep getting lost at sea. And Lord, next time could you send the sharks at a more decent time of day?